What is the deal?

What is the deal?
I went into a book store today to pick up the book. "He's just not that in to you" and a few others for Natasha, and I was amazed by all of the dating books out there. I was going to get this book because I really liked the movie and I thought it would be funny. At first browsing through these books was a little fun. One about why men loved bitches and why they married them, one about how to meet you're prince charming, and can't forget the one that stated it would make you the type of woman men want to marry or the one about how to get over the fact he cheated on you and hurt you physically to make him what you want.
As I am searching through these titles my amazement turns to being appalled. There wasn't a single book directed to men and how to find the woman of their dreams, or how to be the type of a man that woman want to marry or even how not to cheat and make your woman happy.
There was only one book there that I would have even considered reading and that is about why woman liked being single and loving their lives.
I love the fact I am single. Although I am dating and enjoying talking to a certain gentleman. I am still enjoying the fact that I am truly concentrating on providing a life for my daughter and myself. I have applied to schools and saving money to make MY dreams happen.
You see I have a problem that a lot of woman have. I get in a relationship and then it becomes all about HIM. I put HIM first, I get what HE likes, and I do what HE wants to do.
IF I choose to get into another relationship. It will be because I want to and I simply REFUSE to change who I am so that I can attract my prince charming!

Rude!

Why are people so rude? When you head out to a restaurant obviously you want to be treated like you matter and even possibly like royalty. But have you noticed the tables around you that just expect way to much! Today at my Denny's one of the newer servers had the customer from hell. First this customer ran the poor girl asking for drink after drink none of which were good enough, second she decided that she wanted to substitute everything off of the meal she was asking for, for something else. Then when the server had put the order in, she decided that she didn't want any of it. So the server had to run to the kitchen to cancel. Then the woman made her get the manager when she finally asked for a substitute that we just can't make. Eggs are cheaper than anything else on the menu so we can not trade them out for anything. You can however opt not to receive them. I mean no one is holding a gun to you head saying you have to order eggs! This woman made her server go and get the manager so that she could repeat the same explanation over again. Okay so this task is completed and done but the woman is still giving attitude. The server then asks me to refill the coffees at the table for her, because she is now way behind on her other tables. I swear this woman actually slammed the cup down in front of me, no sign of a "thank you", "please", or "what have you" to be seen! Well needless to say this woman carried on like this entirely throughout her meal and just gave her server as much grief as she possibly could. As servers we all know when someone is doing this you will get one of two things, a dollar or nothing at all. Okay, so I know that most people are not like this... but many are. And those few people can sometimes ruin the whole day for that server. It's crazy to see a crew from wal-mart come in, they too work in the grunt form of customer service, and they will be the most demanding and rudest people ever. I love my job but some days I go home hating people. I trust God everyday to provide me with the money to help me support my child, and while yes I chose this job. One, because it was one of the only things available and I needed the work, but two, because some days the money is great and I enjoy talking and being around people. I don't know if you are reading this and know that you are one of these people. But next time you go into a restaurant and you have a nice server,(and yes I realize that there are plenty of rude and nasty servers out there too.) just one smile could get you more than all the bitching (pardon my French)in the world. If you have to send something back a simple "please" will get it faster than a nasty "NOW." Think about it, How would you like to be served? Just being served or being served with a smile and respect for you as the customer.

Covering up...

Today My daughter, my mother, and myself were out shopping when my daughter decides that she is hungry, without thinking I simply ask "what are you hungry for"? After milling this question over in her mind for a while she comes up with an answer, 5 mins later, in the form of Taco's.

 Hmmmm not exactly healthy, and I have been trying to be good and considered everything entering my body as well as hers. Taco Bell is in no way healthy! There isn't even that factor that you can make up at Mcdonalds and say  "well at least it's chicken" There is nothing! So I made the suggestion of going to the local piggly wiggly and making up a salad off of their salad bar. Natasha loves salads so this idea was great for the both of us. So I pull into the parking lot and proceed to make the salads, Spinach, mixed greens, tomatoes, carrots, so on and so forth. What I neglected to do was put salad dressing on the salads because I am thinking we have some at home. 

Ahhhh no. Forgot my mom had used the dressing to marainate chicken a few days prior so I am sitting on a salad with no dressing. 

"Why not use mayo?" My mother suggests. At first this sounds like a good plan, but then I got to thinking why not try the salad, "gasp" with NO dressing at all.

Amazingly the world did not come to a end. No it actually was really good. I was actually able to taste all of the many flavors in the salad, the sweetness of the spinach, the slight tartness of the tomatoes, the crispness of the cucumbers, instead of the "dressing." 

It got my mind mulling over the fact that we cover a lot of our foods with unnecessary calories and flavors. Why do we cover potatoes in sour cream and butter? Why do we have to use steak sauce on a steak? Why don't we just enjoy the flavors of the food that we are choosing to eat?Although my mom freely admits she sometimes chooses the foods she does, just to enjoy the covering sauces. 

 So that is going to be my goal for the next two weeks. I am not going to cover flavors.. even when my cooking (bad as it can be) really needs it! If I choose to eat chicken I will not eat BBQ sauce! I will eat fish with no tartar sauce. And I will let you know what you are missing. 

4:30am

Warmth, sleep, dreams of things to personal to speak of... What the heck is that confounding beeping! Oh my alarm. Yesterday was the start of my new exercise routine. I decided my alarm could be set for 4:45am and that would give me time to get dressed and grab my gym bag as I headed out the door to get to my gym at 5:00am. I packed my bag the night before, Shoes for work, pants, toothpaste and tooth brush, and so on the list went. I checked over the list a few times till I was sure that I had everything. Never be to sure of anything!

Beep, Beep, Beep! I am slow to jump up, How could I have ever thought this was a good idea! I dress in my workout attire and proceed to try to go out the door, Oh wait where are my keys... Natasha had them so they are of course in her... play car, what was I thinking?

OK try to run out the door, wait I need my apron for work, run to my bedroom grab my apron and once again head for the door.

Once in the car I get to my gym and place my things in a  locker and head to a treadmill. Ahhh finally time to get down to exercise. I look at the clock and it is... What!!!! 10 minutes till I am suppose to shower and leave for work! 

So I am able to push the time a little and work out for a full 15 Min's before I have to shower and head to work. 

Needless to say I learned my lesson and today I was up and ready for the  gym by 4:40 am and walking out the door at 4:50. 

I had a full workout and even had time to take my time with my makeup. As I turn to leave this morning I see the dreaded scale and realize that in my haste the prior day I did not weigh myself. So I drop my gym bag and take a deep breath. and step up to the plate...

My starting weight is 220lbs. I'm sure you realize just how hard it is to type that number in and not alter it at all! My goal by summer is 180lbs. This time next year I have the goal of 150lbs. That gives me  70lbs that I will take off and a year to do it in!

Here we go...

Here I am again, I promised myself I would never see the size of 16 again and yet here I am looking down at the size of the jeans I am trying on. At least I have decided to come out of my denial before I hit the size 18 again!

For the last little while I have used my daughter as an excuse... "I was a size 11 before I had my daughter," or "Yes ever since Natasha was born..." Well my beautiful baby is no longer a baby, She will be turning three in a month and a few days. No it is no longer because I was pregnant, it is now because I am lazy!

So here I go again, This year I did not make it a resolution to lose the weight, ( If I had I would not be keeping it.) No, I decided before Christmas that by my own birthday I will once again see the size of 14, (March 11th) and by summer I will not be ashamed to put on a bathing suit. 

I think that I am setting realistic goals for myself, none of those I am going to lose 50lbs in 2 months, I want this to be a life long thing. To teach my daughter that it is great to be active and healthy and not get her hooked on all of the junk food out there.

So I am going to document my journey here, and if my trials and issues help others, great but it is mostly because now I have accountability. By posting this and letting all of you in on my horror stories as well as successes, I am challenging myself to succeed. So I am posting my before picture so That I will be reminded that I have let you in on my journey and you can see what I am starting from. And hopefullysee me succeed... no be there WHEN I succeed!